From Traditional to Modern: China’s Matchmaking Evolution

With the tremendous social pressure to get married and have a child, it’s no surprise that relationships in China are a big business. Online Chinese matchmaking services abound and are wildly popular, while in the real world it’s quite common for flocks of anxious parents to flood city parks in hopes of finding the perfect match for their son or daughter. Constantly feeling the stress of older generations nagging them to find a wife or husband and help the family prosper, marriage-aged men and women are increasingly taking extraordinary measures to find a suitable spouse. Below are six stories illustrating the lengths aging Chinese singles are willing to go to in order to find a partner. At the extreme end of dating services, there are the billionaire-only matchmakers over at the Golden Bachelor Agency www. It’s no secret that to be desirable in China a man must be pretty well off financially, but the young ladies attending these very expensive galas demand only the very best.

People who are offended by ‘Indian Matchmaking’ prove its point

Content created: File last modified:. Procursus: Here follows the text of a conference paper in which I summarized my research related to the tradition of marriage brokering in China, both in the past, and up to the time of the conference. Insofar as possible, the text here is configured like the original conference paper.

With increasing social and financial pressures in our modern society, Chinese people must put off their plans to get married so that they can.

The “MarryU” ad in the subways. The “MarryU” ad in the subways is set on a black background, its logo featuring a golden-colored diamond, aptly symbolizing riches and prosperity. Is that what love symbolizes? Is marriage even about love in China? The ads are for a new dating app in China. In the West, dating apps and websites are now old concepts. Some sites have been in operation for 30 years like, Matchmaker. This Western site’s name harkens back to a time with matchmaking practices existed even in Western countries.

Now, most modern Westerners navigate the world of dating and possible marriage without outside older generation intervention. Conversely, I have found Chinese families are still involved in matchmaking discussions, especially for young people nearing the age of Each potential partner is heavily critiqued and assessed by families and tight communities. I am someone who married into the Chinese culture, admittedly into a liberal family that did not influence their child’s decision and who were willing to accept a foreigner in their midst.

What It’s Like To Be A “Leftover Person” In China

Shanghai matchmaking event should not have age restrictions. Being a married woman with a 2-year-old daughter, it has been a long time since I last paid attention to any blind-date or socializing mixers. But the latest news reports about this year’s big matchmaking event caught my attention. According to Shanghai Morning Post, the age limit of participants will be lowered from 45 to 40 years old, which I think is unreasonable. Considering the growing trend of late marriages in Shanghai, age limitations should be lifted instead of tightened.

Matchmaking in Traditional and Modern China. Traditionally, a Chinese wedding was arranged by the families of the prospective couple.[48]. The parents of the.

The rhetoric of modernity, education, and progress is a powerful one that deludes us into thinking that regressive and repressive aspects of match-making are either a thing of the past, the rural, or the uneducated and uninformed. Denting this urban self-fashioning is the Netflix series Indian Matchmaking , which has held up a mirror to Indian society. Rather, it has shown how casteism and sexism merge with money, high-status, and modernity in the urban milieus of Mumbai, Delhi, New York, and Chicago.

Crucially, they consider their role as not limited to suggesting matches but of also undertaking a maternalistic paternalistic approach by advising prospective brides and grooms to change their attitudes and expectations in order to have a happy married life. Most important, this series has brought attention to an oft-repeated woe that the onus of sustaining the marriage squarely falls on women.

That is the value we have been brought up with. Prospective grooms, on the other hand, are disconcertingly presented as reluctant men, who are to be cajoled and emotionally manipulated by their mothers, sisters into even agreeing to meet a prospective bride.

Marriage Market or Exclusive Matchmaking? East vs West

Nearly half of the country’s million unmarried people are expected to use online dating platforms by as young and independent singles are successfully using apps to find a romantic match. Known as “matching windows and doors”, Chinese parents have played the role of matchmaker for generations, pairing up their children based on personality traits, occupations and socioeconomic class. While these practices still exist, China’s increasingly independent young people are now in favour of a more empowering digital solution.

One such example is Baihe, a dating platform that digitises the more traditional aspects of courtship in China. While other online dating platforms — such as the industry leader Momo — are designed for more casual dating, Baihe provides a platform to find a potential spouse. The personal data supplied by users — including real names, qualifications, occupation, property ownership information and credit scores — is used to find a good romantic match.

He arrived early in a suit and shiny shoes, looking like a Chinese version of Manny from “Modern Family.” He took a seat in the front row.

Exclusive matchmaking in Europe and the US generally follows the same trends. Members of the international clique want to meet someone who has also moved around various countries, speaks multiple languages, and has an open-mindedness and curiosity of the world that echoes their own. Hence why exclusive matchmaking is becoming both popular and necessary.

My clients are in contact with thousands of people in their global playground, but crowds create noise…and confusion. To the untrained eye, there appears to be too much choice. Finding a life partner has become a genuine challenge. Exclusive matchmaking is therefore becoming a necessity amongst those who, quite frankly, are too good to be single.

Here, everyone who is single is getting involved with matchmaking, from the masses to the supremely wealthy. Matchmaking in China is nothing new, for centuries the Chinese have been matching their offspring for social and economic reasons. They are quite familiar with the concept of a good match, however never before has there been such fervor associated with finding a life partner for young, single people. Because with the growing gender gap troubling China today, finding a partner has become rather like a game of musical chairs.

Matchmaking in Modern China

Leftover Women follows three successful Chinese women — Qiu Hua Mei, a year-old lawyer; Xu Min, 28, who works in public radio; and Gai Qi, 36, an assistant college professor in Beijing — who, despite thriving careers, are still labeled “leftover women,” or sheng nu, a derogatory term used in China to describe educated, professional women in their mids and ’30s who are not married. With 30 million more men than women in China, a severe demographic imbalance resulting from the One-Child Policy, social stability is under threat.

Though methods may differ, societal pressure for women to marry exists in every culture. From awkward singles mixers to marriage markets for parents, as well as dealing with differing views of marriage and relationships within families and from potential partners, the struggle for these women to find true love and true happiness seems more elusive than ever. Hilla holds an M. This program was produced by Medalia Productions and Shlam Productions which are solely responsible for its content.

While this modern technology may have displaced the traditional role of parent as matchmaker, I imagine young couples still value their parents’.

Traditionally, families had more say in regard to a marriage than the man and woman who were getting married. In the old days, young men and women that liked one another were not allowed to meet freely together. Young people who put their wishes for a mate above the wishes of their parents were considered immoral. The goal of matchmakers ever since has usually been to pair families of equal stature for the greater social good.

Marriages have traditionally been regarded as unions between families with matches being made by elders who met to discuss the character of potential mates and decide whether or not a they should get married. Marriages that are arranged to varying degrees are still common and traditional considerations still plays a part in deciding who marries whom. Rich men could have as many wives as they could afford. Many marriages were worked out when the bride and groom were still children.

Subway matchmaking ads reveal marital trends in China

But her eyes kept moving. They tracked the clusters of young women zigzagging from Zara to Calvin Klein Jeans. They lingered on a face, a gesture, and then moved on, darting across the atrium, searching. For Ms. In Joy City, Ms.

With the tremendous social pressure to get married and have a child, it’s no surprise that relationships in China are a big business. Online Chinese matchmaking.

While not expecting many customers, Wang was surprised by the end of the day at how many parents came seeking her matchmaking services. The matchmaking corner at Revolution Park is well known to locals. It is held every Wednesday and Sunday and is a site devoted to matching unmarried women and men. Few parents admit that they actually believe in this method of matchmaking and the success rate is incredibly low.

For the older generation, marriage is still considered the bedrock of Chinese society. Rapid economic and social changes in China have resulted in a particularly pronounced generation gap. This has influenced how young people define marriage and what they are looking for in a partner. The matchmaking corner is always humming with activity and energy. The key feature of the matchmaking corner is the thousands of posters that are strung up between tree trunks, stapled to bushes, and stuck on tree branches.

How Chinese People Think about Love and Marriage

Analysis by S. Mitra Kalita , CNN. Chat with us in Facebook Messenger.

Love, Marriage, and Intimate Citizenship in Contemporary China and India: An Personal Relationships in Modern Societies, Polity Press, Cambridge, Google Parental matchmaking and middle-class women in contemporary urban.

Around a thousand Chinese men and women have approached Lee since her matchmaking business started in American citizens or green-card holders were often the most popular candidates and the fastest to get paired up. Matchmaking has been an ingrained cultural practice in China since the Zhou Dynasty 2, years ago. But whereas historically, marriages were not considered valid if the couple did not get approval from their parents and trustworthy matchmakers, parties in a modern-day arranged meeting are free to decide if they are interested in their match, and would therefore like to build a relationship together.

Lee seems to have almost memorized the profiles of her dozens of clients. She can flip through her files of all Chinese, mostly 30 to 45 year olds, listing off their citizenship status, age, education background, height, and interest. Many are undocumented. In light of tightened immigration policies under the Trump administration, meeting and marrying someone through Chinese matchmaking could be the solution for undocumented immigrants to stay in the U. But business has plummeted since , said Lee, who said that people are now more wary because they believe the new administration will be stricter about determining whether a marriage is valid or not.

And some might say having a preference for green card holders or U.

Shanghai marriage market

While not expecting many customers, Wang was surprised by the end of the day at how many parents came seeking her matchmaking services. The matchmaking corner at Revolution Park is well known to locals. It is held every Wednesday and Sunday and is a site devoted to matching unmarried women and men.

of issues: the role of the matchmaker, the proper age for courtship, the emotional perils Marriage in urban China is no longer an arrangement between families, based wives with new, “modern” demands for intellectual and emotional com-.

Your email address has not been verified. Please click below to complete your registration. Already have an account? Sign in to Sixth Tone. Please confirm your email address by clicking the link in the email received from us. Please wait until the countdown has finished before clicking the resend button. Just fill in your email and we will help you reset your password. Youngsters shun the superstition and discrimination of older marriage brokers, yet have few other chances to find suitable partners.

Meet the Chinatown Matchmaker Whose Memory Puts Your Dating Algorithm to Shame

Since , the proliferation of marriage markets in China has made BaiFaXiangQin an attractive alternative for parents that are anxious and eager to help their single children find a suitable match for marriage. This paper discusses the possible cultural and financial reasons behind the increasing popularity of BaiFaXiangQin in mainland China and identifies the five steps used in BaiFaXiangQin to complete the marital selection process.

Dating arrangements in China predominantly lead to marriage or more serious relationships.

Since different parts of China can be vastly diverse in culture and dialects as well, some families are against marriage even to Chinese people from other parts of.

Skip navigation! Story from World News. In China, the most offensive thing to call a millennial isn’t a profanity — it’s “leftover. The population of unmarried adults, according to the latest national census , reached million in Decades of a one-child policy and a culture that favors boys over girls has also taken its toll: by , the Chinese State Population and Family Planning Commission estimates that there will be 30 million more men seeking wives than there are women to marry them.

Generally, unmarried women over the age of 27 are considered shengnu , but the age varies by city. Shanghai is one of the loneliest cities for single women , according to a survey conducted by Jiayuan , a leading dating website in China. To avoid ending up at the bottom of the barrel, many Chinese millennials have turned to a centuries-old tradition: matchmaking. But like much of modern China, it’s now all about the bigger, the better; from reality shows where participants can vote each other off with the press of a button to matchmaking expos marketed to singles and their parents on the prowl.

But these matchmaking expos are certainly not for the faint of heart. At a expo in Hangzhou, women were forced to scrub off their makeup before entering the building so that men could enjoy a “bare-faced meeting. Yep, it’s exactly what it sounds like.

Mastering China: Joining hearts in the park: Chinese matchmaking